1. |
Invisible Spectrum
04:27
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Am I ghostly
Lightless
Unseen
Breathing Slowly
Pins and
Needles
Always
Always
Spirit's lowly
Weakened
Weighted
Tired and Wakeful
Guarded
Anxious
Disconnected
Slighted
Joyless
Apoplectic
Boiling
Numb
Always
Always
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2. |
Things We Bring
03:54
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Eventually you'll realize that I am undeserving of your favor
You'll find somebody better and I'll be solitary once again
And if I'm being honest with myself
I won't even be surprised
The things we bring don't always measure up
To what other's provide
Eventually the whispers I imagine will present themselves as truth
That all of those around me only act the part and never really cared
And if I'm being honest with myself
I won't even be surprised
The things we bring don't always measure up
To what others can provide
(third verse here?)
But I'm not being honest with myself
Am I nothing without someone else?
Is this what I feel, and is it real, and do you hate me?
After all I'm human and I need a touch, a word, a thought, a gesture
Everything I've ever done and all I've seen and
here I am in need of only love
So, will you let me feel your love?
And I will love you always and forever
Will you let me feel your love
and maybe the things we bring can finally measure up
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3. |
Toad
03:53
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Can I get out this bed?
Can I move on from these irksome reflections?
Isn't it time that I tried?
I promise it's tempting but my will to move is empty
I'll just lie here and wait for my will to return
Who am I kidding? it's gone
Where does the energy go?
Maybe it's left me so someone else can use it?
Do I resemble the dead?
I know I'm moving but I'm barely moving.
I'll just lie here and wait for my will to return
Who am I kidding?
it's gone away no chance to reclaim what I've lost
so I'm eating the cost and it's
All the same, every single day till I drop
I will sit like a Toad on a log
Wasting my time
This one finite life
That I'm squandering
Idling
Wondering
Endlessly
Hopelessly
Waiting for sympathy
Somebody please put me
Out of my misery
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4. |
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Within the fog and through the thicket there's a wall
With a garden on the otherside
You can stay and sit in stillness for awhile
Restore the nature of your truest mind
Though it may seem to be a perfect place to live
Safe and sound away from fear
It's just daydream and reality awaits
Desperation drawing near
Past the Oaks, Beyond the pines
Is everything you ever wanted
Past the Oaks, Beyond the Pines
You won't have to feel so haunted
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5. |
||||
Give it up, I'm not only over it, I'm sick and tired.
And when it's over with, I'll be back again.
Thoughts change and words aimed at me estrange, brings me down.
But I'm not the whispers in my head.
Cheer up it's not so bad, don't be sad
It's a miracle! You've fixed me! I'm cured!
If you believe the things you say
I hope and pray someday you don't feel this way
Chemicals in my head make me feel like dead or I wanted to be in the grave.
But I haven't the will pop a pill so I know that my brain will behave
When I'm all alone with the whispers
I'm only as good as they say that I am
And I never did know the difference
And I'm so afraid of the sound
It repeats, over and over
The feeling is strong even as I get older
Self aware and I'm so self destructing
Everyone cares and nobody does it's
Contradicting and honestly sickening
Tell me I'm fine but my brain isn't listening
I'm lonely in my own skull
I'm selfish and hateful the feeling is awful
When I'm all alone with the whispers
I'm only as good as they say that I am
And I never did know the difference
And I'm so afraid of the sound
I'll never escape from the whispers but
I don't have to listen to what they say
I can be better than that and evolve into
someone that I don't hate
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6. |
Calliope
04:54
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7. |
The Greenest Hills
05:29
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Where does it come from?
Where does it go just when I need it to return
Need it to return
Feeling I'm glued in place
Watching the scene float by with no heart to say
No heart to say
Squeezing and pressing pushing down
Furious mind I'd never let slip out
Carving a name into my brain to stop
The sting of shame I'm feeling now
Even the greenest hills can't sooth me now
Bubbling super fury
Fighting the urge to rip the world apart
To see what's inside
Auditory acid
Poison slipping from your tongue
With every word that you say
When is it too late?
Consequences meaning nothing in the moment
Is it over? When is it over?
No more time for contemplation
Now or never, got to take it
into my own hands
Even the greenest hills can't sooth me now
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8. |
Paranoise
04:31
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Are you running away
Can I convince you to stay
Or am I too much to take?
Believe I understand
You know I know what I am
And I'm a difficult man
Knowing me's a mistake
An simple blunder to make
Patience is so hard to fake
Don't worry your pretty face
I'm basically empty space
I'm easy to replace
Do you promise you care?
Please don't mind if I stare
I've never been so aware
It's just a little concern
A scar I've easily earned
From all the heartstring burns
Why do you look that way?
Should I go should I stay
I'm so conflicted
I know the things I invent
Don't know where sanity went
The fear is creeping under
Rise, into the stratosphere
making it hard, to see, what's real
Always
Far, from truth
not knowing what to trust
is this a game
a play
oh god
my mind aches
Paranoid and the noise is deafening
Paranoise
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9. |
Hourglass
05:27
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We are subject to the prevalence of fantasy
We can never change the things we never wished to see
We are trapped inside ourselves forever incomplete
Only in the end to find we didn't need to be
Can you hear spaces inbetween us murmering?
Still and silent yes but also wholly deafening
Can you comprehend a life where no one ever knows
All the visions from the light that lives behind the door?
As time moves ever forward
We're stuck inside our past
And grain by grain the sand falls
We're drowning in the hourglass
Are you wondering if these bitter thoughts will ever change?
Will they cripple your impressions leaving you deranged
Wash away the haze within your weary eyes to see
You were always bedlam from your early infancy
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10. |
An Important Distinction
07:09
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I can't change, but I cannot stay the same I know
I feel strange, like it all has suddenly gone slow
I can't cope, and it's getting harder to believe
There's still hope, or perhaps it's all born to deceive
With no reprieve, no inner peace, it all unweaves
Phantom hands, (always) point the barrel at my head
Tease Relief, If I'd only give in to the cure
Constantly, (wondering) If it's right to end it all
She'll feel pain, so I'm anchored only by her love
is it enough, to hold me up, or am I too late, too late
Don't want to die, don't care if I live, an important distinction to make
So high a price, too broke am I, to pay for quiet
I often dream of fate taking the wheel, wresting the choice from my hands
While at the same time despising myself for feeling this way
Despite these words, I think you should know, an important distinction to make
They're only words, invasive thoughts, creeping tendrils
Though I may feel, these self hateful things, I know they're unsound reflections
When I am lost, I look to the stars, they light my way
I let the stars guide me home
Each point is a light
Each light is a Star
Each star is a name written on my heart
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Aud Andrews Houston, Texas
Voice Artist, Singer, and Musician. All releases will be pay what you want and published under creative commons!
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